Interpersonal Leadership tools, skills, resources
Systems work is about bringing together multiple perspectives and sectors toward transformational change in the structures and processes that are holding us in place. It requires that we develop new relational practices that allow us to listen carefully and intentionally, and to be fully open and curious. It also means that we need to build collective cultures of care and respect that allow us to navigate the complex work that we are taking on. And as we do this, we can create generative space that allows new ideas and the possibility of a new futures to emerge.
Table of Contents
Use the links to jump directly to a tool, or scroll to explore.
Check-In
Collective Visioning
Compassion Cultivation
Creating Safe Environments
Generative Conversations
Ladder of Inference
Setting the Stage
Check-in
The Check-in is a tool to incorporate at the start of the day, in a classroom, or any meeting. Besides giving individuals a voice, this practice can help people to tap into their aspirations and creative orientation and also begin to develop a shared vision and understanding. One essential way we can adjust and shape a more generative collaborative approach is through the practice of Checking In to reflect on, and become aware of, how we’re showing up.
Rules of the Check-in
Take turns speaking, one at a time, 1-2 min per person
Listening without judgement or interpretation, and only to understand and hold what people have to say. Listen intently to each person, and hold space for each other.
Steps in facilitating a Check-in
First, open up by asking a group of people to take 2-5 min to
Individually and quietly reflect on a guiding question. You can also do this as a simple, guided meditation.
Next take time (5 mins) to journal whatever comes to mind. Maintain silence throughout the journaling time.
Place everyone to move into groups of 3-5 with their chairs facing one another, and take 2 minutes per person to share personal reflections. Note: encourage people to only share what they are comfortable with
Collective Visioning
Like the personal visioning exercise, a process of building shared aspiration/or vision amongst our collective is essential.
This aspiration guides collective planning, and is grounded on a foundation of personal visions and aspirations. Too often, we engage in processes that force participants to create one vision for all. Necessarily this vision is so high level it becomes meaningless.
The CSL approach is built on the idea that integrating personal aspirations enriches the collective vision with passion and diversity.
Steps in Facilitating a Shared Aspiration
The first step is a guided visualization towards each individual’s aspiration as it relates to the intended impact of the change efforts. Participants begin by closing their eyes and envisioning how they would like things to be for children and families in their context.
Guided inquiry questions for this process can include:
What are you doing within the system you visualize?
Who are you working with?
What are your colleagues doing?
What are your relationships like? How often do you see other people and in what context?
What do you discuss?
What are you doing the same as now and what are you doing differently? What have you stopped doing?
Following the visualization, each person takes time with their journal to write and reflect on the process. We then have people get into groups of two or three to share the key aspects of their aspiration.
Next participants are asked to record on different coloured stickies things that they are doing – what they have continued to do, what they have stopped doing and what they have started doing. These stickies are placed together on a large flip chart and each person shares with the entire group.
Through the sharing common themes emerge and the shared aspiration begins to take shape.
Compassion Cultivation
As we build our capacity for self-compassion, so we also build our capability to feel and express compassion for others in a sustainable way. As we approach generative and courageous conversations with others, about changing systems, cultivating our capacity for compassion is essential. It allows us to be present in conversation and connection with others, in a way that honours each person and each perspective equally. It is a foundational skill to be able to host and progress courageous and system changing conversations and actions.
A Compassionate Response
Science posits that compassion is a natural human instinct that exists in us all and that can be nurtured. Compassion unfolds through a process that starts with presence and awareness of suffering in ourselves or in others. What can then unfold is empathic resonance - a state where we are fully connected emotionally to suffering. For compassion to continue to unfold, we need to move to a desire and motivation to do something to alleviate the suffering, and beyond that an action toward this alleviation.
Where a Compassion Response Breaks Down
Often, compassion responses break down: compassion collapse. This can happen at any stage in the process: we are not aware of our own or another’s suffering; we do not resonate with the suffering emotionally; or we are not move to alleviate the suffering. This collapse can particularly happen when we are dealing with people we have difficulty with, or people who are not like us.
We also live in a world where compassion is often not the normal culture in our societies or organizations. Fears of compassion often get in way. We may feel that showing compassion to others may be seen as weak, or inappropriate. It maybe that we experience discomfort in accepting compassion, or see compassionate acts as manipulation. Dr. Paul Gilbert has developed three fears of compassion scales that you can use to assess your own attitude to compassion: https://www.compassionatemind.co.uk/uploads/files/fears-of-compassion-scale.pdf
VIDEO RESOURCES
Mattieu Ricard on Compassion (10 mins). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yB2fcZpxBlE
Emiliana Simon-Thomas: on Compassion in the brain (20 mins). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ie4htPTeOvA
Thupten Jinpa (3½ mins)http://bigthink.com/videos/thupten-jinpa-on-modern-day-compassion
WEBSITES
Compassion Cultivation Training in BC: http://connectingcompassion.ca
Compassion Institute: https://www.compassioninstitute.com/
Centre for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education: http://ccare.stanford.edu/
ARTICLES
Dacher Keltner. The Compassionate Instinct https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_compassionate_instinct/
Adam Hoffman. When empathy hurts, compassion can heal https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/when_empathy_hurts_compassion_can_heal
BOOKS
Jinpa, T. (2016) A Fearless Heart:How the Courage to be Compassionate can Change your Life
Creating Safe Environments
Creating a safe and positive learning environment and a culture of compassion and connection is essential to CSL. This needs to be an anchor that is created and then returned to on a regular basis, to ground the agreement that groups of people have about how they would like to be with each other. Setting the stage with agreed values is also an essential foundation for moving into more engaged work where we can bring an open mind, an open heart and an open will.
In the CSL process, we open our collective work by asking people to reflect on the qualities of the working environment they aspire to: those qualities that they value, and feel are necessary for effective work to take place.
Each person reflects alone first on what matters to them in terms of how they would like the group to work together: both values and behaviours. Each person then journals for a few minutes before sharing their ideas with the larger group. Through this sharing a collective sense of what will glue the group together emerges We ask people to move beyond the more regular values that we often talk about, into the things that really matter for them to be effective. We also ask people to think beyond an aspiration into what the behaviours are that would show that we are living into a value.
We encourage CSL practitioners to post their expressions of culture and value in a common space, and to return to it regularly to make sure it remains alive, that we can learn through it, to help address issues that might come up (and they will) and as we bring new people into the group.
The shared environment influences the depth of work that can emerge. Creating a space that is safe and where participants feel trust and confidence allows the group to negotiate some difficult and potentially conflictual dialogues within that space.
Generative Conversations
Generative conversations are conversations that generate shared meaning and lead to action. They involve an authentic exchange of sharing and inquiry, leading to the emergence of new knowledge or understanding that could not have been created individually. It was our experience, however, that we only scratched the surface of this area. Supporting the development of honest emotional expression, trust, empathy and collective commitment is a complex practice that requires time.
Non-Violent Communication was developed by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg. According to The Center for Non-Violent Communication, NVC is "based on the principles of nonviolence — the natural state of compassion when no violence is present in the heart. NVC begins by assuming that we are all compassionate by nature and that violent strategies — whether verbal or physical — are learned behaviours taught and supported by the prevailing culture. NVC also assumes that we all share the same, basic human needs, and that all actions are a strategy to meet one or more of these needs. People who practice NVC have found greater authenticity in their communication, Increased understanding, deepening connection and conflict resolution."
The practice of non-violent communication involves participants cycling through a sequence of interactions encouraging them to express their observations, feelings, needs and requests.
Levels of Listening
The levels of listening is one tool from Otto Scharmer’s work outlined in “Theory U”. Theory U is an approach that focuses on personal leadership and innovation as a path for change. We drew on this work extensively in many aspects of the course. The levels of listening tool is a valuable framework for conceptualizing how you can progress to more generative conversations.
Level 1: Downloading. At this level, the individual is only listening for “what they want to hear”, based on old habits. They are selecting data based on their experience and assumptions and filtering information to reconfirm old opinions and ideas.
Level 2: Factual. At this level, the individual is able to open their mind, truly listen and accept information that may not align with their existing experiences and assumptions. When listening at this level, the individual can disconfirm data and accept new ideas
Level 3: Empathic. At this level, the individual is able to create am empathic connection and see through another’s eyes. This is sometimes referred to as perspective taking.
Level 4: Generative. It is at this level, that generative conversations emerge. Individuals are able to “listen together”, to hear new possibilities and emerge ideas for collective action.
Source: Presencing Institute, Otto Scharmer
WEBSITES
Presencing Institute (MIT): https://www.presencing.org/
BOOKS
Scharmer, O. (2018). The Essential of Theory U: Core Principles and Applications. Berret-Koehler Publishers, Inc.
Ladder of Inference
The Ladder of Inference, first developed by Chris Argyris, is a model for understanding how we can often jump to conclusions based not on the facts or what we have observed, but rather based on our own values and assumptions through which we filter the reality.
Using the Ladder
It is a useful tool to help us all understand how quickly we jump to conclusions and interpret the world around us based on our biases and history of experience. Going “up the ladder” happens very quickly in our head and we are typically unaware of the escalating processes that may be leading us to an incorrect conclusion and subsequent action based on that conclusion.
The concept of the ladder helps us to slow down, pay attention to our though process and the emotions evoked by certain experiences. It also trains us in understanding that by slowing down, we can see things more clearly and respond in more rationale and balanced ways.
Unpacking each rung of the ladder allows us to slow down, notice what may be happening and disrupt the sequence. It is helpful to ask questions, particularly in more challenging or stressful interactions, to check on “your ladder”. Some examples of questions are:
• Am I drawing the right conclusion?
• Why did I assume this?
• Is my conclusion based on facts?
Source: Developed from toolshero.com
WEBSITES
https://artofleadershipconsulting.com/blog/leadership/mental-models-ladder-of-inference/
https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_91.htm
VIDEOS
Trevor Maber, Thinking and Rethinking - TedTalk (5 1/2 mins). https://ed.ted.com/lessons/rethinking-thinking-trevor-maber
Setting the Stage
Inner change creates outer change. The first step in building leadership capacity is to increase awareness of yourself: your values, biases and ways of being.
Learning is continuous. Skill and knowledge acquisition are built into a cycle of practice, reflection and adaptation.
Collectively more impact can be realized when connected individuals learn and act together. Often individuals attend learning and development sessions on their own and then return to their context to introduce the new ideas. Given the tendency for systems to continue existing patterns, this can be challenging for a person that is not working collectively.
Drawing on Indigenous Ways of Knowing and Being
We acknowledge that many of our ideas for the Compassionate Systems Leadership approach we have learned from our Indigenous colleagues. Indigenous cultures, in our experience, embody the concept of compassionate systems through an interconnectedness of people, the earth, and the Great Spirit. We have so much to learn from the traditions of our First Peoples.
We intend that this work contribute to a path towards Reconciliation and a brighter future for all children and grandchildren.
Begins with an acknowledgement of the traditional territory of the local First Nations and, as they are known, endeavour to follow local protocols as guests in that territory.
Creating a Safe & Positive Learning Environment
Spend time to develop key components of a shared culture. The group is asked to reflect on the qualities of the working environment they aspire to: those qualities that they value, and feel are necessary for effective work to take place. Each person reflects alone and then shares their ideas with the larger group.
Post this depiction of culture as a reminder to participants.
The shared environment influences the depth of work that will emerge. Creating a space that is safe and where participants feel trust and confidence allows the group to negotiate some difficult and potentially conflictual dialogues within that space.
The culture is not stagnant, but really a continuous cycle that influences not only the current work but implies how people may continue to work together in the future. Much of this work is deeply personal and for many participants, the practices are new and discomforting. As such, the decision about how and how much to participate must lie with each individual. There is no expectation in that individuals take part in all activities. Participation is an invitation only, not a requirement.
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